Royal Enfield

[2wheels]

Khun Aon at 'Oldies' (see thread in 'Thailand Information') has this for sale.
089 0949998 (good English).



What I know is that it looks and sounds wonderful and is used daily.

1970.
130,000 baht.

'Bigfella' has more pics and maybe more info.

 

[The Bigfella]

I gave it a prod (with my left leg, and much trepidation) and it started first go.

Have to say.... I thought about buying it, for some local road jaunts.... but hey....

 

[brake034]

1970??? I will believe '91 onwards!
Is it a 350 or a 500?
Is there any paperwork with it?

 

[Jayem]

I gave it a prod (with my left leg, and much trepidation) and it started first go.

Have to say.... I thought about buying it, for some local road jaunts.... but hey....

Now I’m really starting to worry about you, Ian. I hope you were kidding… I mean, who in his right mind would contemplate, even for a minute, paying THB 130K for this antiquated POS?

Could it be that your judgement is still impaired as a result of the prolonged use of opioids administered to you at the hospital earlier this year? Knowing how addictive morphine is, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re still secretly shooting up that stuff.

Given that another sad remnant of the defunct British imperial motorcycle industry has managed to wreck your knee and cripple you at the first attempt to start it, I would have thought that you were well and truly cured of this misplaced nostalgic longing to risk life and limb riding under-powered anachronistic crap.

Why would a man of discriminating taste, who appreciates the finer things in life (such as wrestling KTM’s across muddy tracks through the Laotian jungle), want to stoop so low and dishonour his hard-earned adventure rider reputation by acquiring such a ridiculously overpriced piece of junk that should have been thrown on the scrap heap decades ago?

Are you perhaps prone to masochistic and/or suicidal behaviour? Otherwise I can’t explain your morbid interest in these archaic vibratory dental-filling extractors. Only an intransigent masochist would, after the debilitating and excruciatingly painful ordeal that you have endured, still consider lining up for another round of corporal punishment.

Look, Ian, if you really want to indulge your masochistic cravings, it is much saner and safer to book yourself a session with a pro dominatrix who will happily relieve you of some cash in exchange for flogging your bare bottom raw. No need to resort to such extreme measures as buying an antique Indian paint shaker that will totally destroy your health and sanity.

These insidious things are a biker's nightmare and an Enfield dealer's Indian Rupee printing press, as absolutely everything falls apart on them. Instead of enjoying your 'local road jaunts', you'll end up losing your sanity during the numerous long-distance calls trying to order parts over the phone from some turban-wearing spare parts wallah in Madras whose incomprehensible Indian accent is going to drive you nuts. Here is a fact that should give you some food for thought: without exception, every motorcycle tour operator in India using Bullets has a factory-trained mechanic accompanying their tours with a truck-load of spare parts. Guess why...

The suicidal aspect of owning these old Bullets is instantly revealed the first time you try to apply the brakes. You better pop into a 7-11 first and buy some pampers to line your underwear with before heading out on your first ride, as, without a doubt, you will defecate in your pants when heading straight into the ancient brick wall at the moat's corner upon discovering that the brakes have gone 'missing in action' when you apply them with white-knuckle commitment.

You should know, Ian, that the Bullet Enfield's drum brakes were never intended to slow down the bike, let alone stop it. Some say it's nothing but a conspiracy theory, but the rumour goes that before shipping off the tooling and blue prints to India, the design of the brakes had been altered.

After having signed the joint venture and licensing contract with the Indians (the Indian Army had just placed a very large order for 350cc Bullets), the British government secretly ordered a change in the design brief, apparently out of spite for the end of the British Raj.

Other rumours point to a policy measure aimed at helping India change the demographic trend and try to avert its massive overpopulation. Altering the Bullet's brake design with the aim to render them useless was one of many policy measures of a secret population control program based on Darwinian selection.

Apparently Darwin's Natural Selection Theory was the policy's underlying principle aimed at reducing population numbers in the most efficient and humane manner. The idea was that anyone dumb enough to choose to ride an Enfield Bullet would have positioned themselves on the far left of the IQ distribution Bell curve, and thereby relegated themselves to the group of ideal candidates for 'elimination through natural selection'.

Whether there is any truth to these conspiracy theories, I don't know, Ian. But the fact remains that the Enfield Bullet's utterly powerless brakes make it a lethal instrument, regardless of whether the rider is suicidal or not.

So do yourself a favour, Ian, and go online and search for a dungeon and book that session... and ask the pro dom to flog that 'Death-by-Bullet Wish' out of your sick mind.

Happy New Year, buddy!

 

[Lone Rider]

Well, to each his own as they say. If I wouldn't be 67, I might be thinking of buying such a piece of shit as the sound of it, when running properly, does it for me. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on which side of the aisle you are standing on, when I was still working for a living, I was far to busy with work to have time to ride a bike so never bought one when I could.

By the way, hope you will find time to write your experiences from you last jaunt into Laos and Vietnam as I am sure that there are quite a few people who would love to know how you managed to sway that nice lady at the Vietnam border crossing to let you cross into Vietnam.

Last but not least, a Happy New year to you also and when are we going to the Blue Diamond?

 

[The Bigfella]

Maaaate, when something mechanical's only a day's pay, or so, why spend time worrying about comparison shopping and all that? Wasting time is better done, as you point out in so many other, more pleasurable ways.... but your tastes and mine seem to vary somewhat. The fairer sex is much better without the whips.... you should try it sometime... but then again, if it needs to be whipped up, then go for it.

Now, brakes you say? When you are at the front of the pack, with all that torque at your control.... who needs brakes? I will admit, that the rear brake rod on the Enfield gave me cause for concern. It looks like a new pair of shoes is needed.

Now shhh about the opiates, eh? I will admit... I've still got the 10 tablets that the operating hospital gave me when I moved from there to orthopeadic rehab after the first week... and the unfilled prescription for more. Don't you think its more of a thrill, having the unused demon sitting there, rather than succumbing to it all the time? Oh, hang on, sorry.... I forgot about your pro dom habit. Do carry on....

 

[steaminjungle]

My Enfield back in the uk was a lovely machine ( after it got sorted ) A '92 500 , it ended up being left behind in the garage after coming out here and my son in law sold to a person who did work on the house for a 100quid. The bike had a screen and top box ( the only plastic to be seen ) higher lift cams , bigger engine sprocket and a lovely old Triumph straight through silencer . Being 66yo now it suited me 10 years ago , I didn't need to go up dirt tracks with me onboard and I didn't need to go to the local cafe with my chin on the speedo and clipons sticking out the front hub. I gave that up in the late 60s.

 

[steaminjungle]

Yes it could of done with a different plate , what made things worse was the original plate fell off on Cornwall some where and the replacement was bigger.